Facebook petition for grieving mum fails to overturn decision on graveside tributes
An online petition with thousands of supporters for a grieving mother in Lincolnshire has failed to sway a parish council's decision.
In April, Nettleham Parish Council told Joanne Green to move all but one piece of memorabilia from her son Ryan's grave.
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Joanne Green tends to the grave of her son, Ryan Hides
She appealed to the council saying that tending his grave, in Nettleham Road Cemetery, was important to her and helped her grieve.
But the council stuck to its guns and refused to make an exception because it contravened graveyard rules, preventing them from being able to maintain the area.
The Echo reported Mrs Green's distress in April and since then a Facebook page called 'Respect for Ryan Hides' Resting Place' has attracted more than 3,000 members. The Armed Forces Scooter Club in Holton-le-Clay also garnered support with a petition.
Mrs Green of Sudbrooke, near Lincoln again appealed to the council showing it the Facebook page and petition as back-up, but she has been told to remove everything from the grave by May 15.
"I have had to find a different way of having a relationship with Ryan so I do it by caring for him with his grave," she said.
"It has been my main coping strategy.
"People go and take flowers down all the time and I don't know all of his friends so how can I regulate that."
Ryan Hides was just 17-years-old when his beloved Piaggio scooter collided with a car in Dunholme Road, Scothern on September 15, 2008.
His popularity meant hundreds of people flocked to his funeral and paid tribute to him via the Echo's website.
Nettleham Parish Council was unavailable for comment and referred the Echo back to an original statement from chairman Terry Williams.
It said: "The council believes it has acted both fairly and reasonably but naturally regrets the additional suffering that this subject has inevitabley caused the family."
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by amy, sudbrooke
Tuesday, May 11 2010, 12:38PM
“disgusting!! where are your hearts, your humanity, i am amazed in this day and age that people can act like this, jo has suffered enough as has her family, ryan brothers and sister.. i feel for you all, nettleham parish council.. you are heartless, i know other graves in the same graveyard which have been neglected and some with memorabillia on , so why target jo??? do you sleep at night?? if so you dont have a heart just a swinging brick! and i am embarrased for you! shame shame shame on you!!!”
by eileen crosby, north hykeham
Tuesday, May 11 2010, 12:44AM
“It was the same for me Mik and another mum I know .. we were NOT told we could not leave gifts and special items, in fact I picked st swithins because it was so full of love .. you could see all the special gifts. Ours started because some moaning git decided they did not like the wind chimes! making a noise and distraction! Oh the arguements and evilness that lot kicked up! it all got too much at xmas when i could not leave the tree, which i put every year for everyone to decorate. Its put secure and its not a hazard. I just didnt want to breathe anymore after that news, much the same as Jo. So councils all over .. is it ok to make people feel so bad? To the point I have the exhumation papers, ready and wating for the time it finally all kicks in at st swithins cos I too can not live with my son having nothing on his grave. You are killing us inside.”
by Mik, HLC
Tuesday, May 11 2010, 12:15AM
“Shep , how can an election be held if all places are unopposed? Did people turn up and place a cross beside the one name on the sheet? smacks of Stalinism that one.
There was no election , they just appointed 12 self serving "volunteers".
Yes there should have been people ready to stand against them and it is sad that the general public are apathetic to such lowly unpaid posts. its an unfortunate fact that these positions seem to attract power crazed people that were bullied at school.
BUT the fact remains these people have no public mandate.to make decisions which affect peoples lives ,especially with no valid reason. The only reason they could give was to make the ground easier to maintain. When 90% of the graves are exempt from the rule , ( only graves after a certain date need comply) and the fact that oanne maintains Ryan's to a better standard , there is no need for the rule. There are graves adjacent to Ryans with dead Xmas wreathes on them , others completely overgrown with wild flowers, how is this an acceptable state of maintenance?
And worse than that having a system in place which expects someone to sign a document between the death of a child and the funeral , and then try to say it is a legally binding agreement , beggars belief.”
by eileen crosby, north hykeham
Monday, May 10 2010, 11:28PM
“well said Mik. a lot of peoples sentiments there voiced by you :) :) lets hope their cocoa leaves a bitter after taste tonight :)”
by debbie, lincoln
Monday, May 10 2010, 10:50PM
“parish council paaah , nowt like kicking someone when their already down eh ???? i hope you can all sleep soundly at night knowing you have ripped this mothers world apart all over again !!!!!”