My autistic son is victim of ignorance and intolerance
AFTER reading certain comments posted by a small, ignorant minority on your website ('Stagecoach "sorry" mum and autistic son were insulted', August 30), I feel that, as my son is unable to speak up for himself in any way, I, as his father, should do so on his behalf.
My son, Jayden Webster-Cook, is not simply a naughty boy – he has profound learning difficulties, a very limited vocabulary (often repeating phrases again and again) and attends the Warren Wood Community School (a special needs school) in Gainsborough.
He has a disabled bus pass and often uses a wheelchair to travel about in (including on public transport), which would make it obvious to anyone that he is disabled.
I can also assure you that discipline has always been kept at an appropriate level with Jayden, who also has a younger brother and two step-siblings, and we have never encountered any such problems with them (that surely must tell you something).
However, giving a profoundly autistic child "a good slap" solves nothing and only encourages them to hit back – and so you end up in an endless cycle because it isn't possible for them, at their limited developmental stage, to comprehend that such behaviour is wrong.
Whereas I agree that there are elements of today's society that are money and booze obsessed, I can assure you that does not include myself.
I am university-educated, have never tried smoking, don't drink at all and have always been strongly anti-drugs in whatever form. The only addiction I have is to tea.
I also am careful with money and can say that this pretty much applies to his mother, too.
Although I wasn't present at the time of the incident on the bus, I feel it is my duty and responsibility, as his father, to speak up for him when I feel that he has been unfairly treated.
What sort of father would I be if I did not stick up for my seven-year-old child, particularly when he is so vulnerable?
It was more on my part that we complained to Stagecoach at any rate; his mother was willing to drop the matter.
However, the reported behaviour is, in my view, unacceptable.
If this driver had been abusive regarding issues of race, religion, ethnicity, sexuality or physical disability, then I'm sure there would not have been such an apparent lack of sympathy from some sectors of the community.
Members of these minorities should not be unfairly treated and nor should autistic children, either.
In conclusion, therefore, I ask people to think before they make such sweeping generalisations and accusations; particularly when they don't know the child in question; or, indeed, anything about them.
JONATHAN WEBSTER Halton Close, Lincoln.
11 Comments
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by H, Lincoln
Thursday, September 23 2010, 10:03PM
“'Looking at it from the outside' you think the driver deserves a 'medal'. Well I'm looking at it from the 'inside' and I imagine the reason this mum didn't alert the driver of her son's condition was that, as a parent of an autistic child, you feel like you spend your life having to explain your child's behaviour and apologise for it, and sometimes you just cross your fingers and hope that you can take them into a 'normal' situation and that they won't have a bad reaction. And eventually you get so fed up with the ignorance and intolerance of people who have no knowledge or understanding of autism, that you stop apologising for your child and try to ignore the hurtful comments.
Nobody deserves a medal for humiliating and upsetting the parent of a disabled child.”
by anon, Lincoln
Wednesday, September 08 2010, 1:24PM
“Touché”
by Sam, Spalding
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 7:39PM
“If you don't like sweeping generalisations don't read Lincoln's newspaper or drink its water. Well written.”
by J, Lincoln
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 1:37PM
“It was the wink at the end that gave it away for most of us”
by Ben, Lincoln
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 1:26PM
“@anon
Given the ability of the human mind to understand words in a given context (especially when provided with visual clues such as emoticons), it would appear you have interpreted my words literally and are actually incapable of recognising a blatant tongue-in-cheek remark when you see one, or you decided to ignore that aspect of my comment entirely in your rush to climb on your high horse and prove yourself superior. Either way it makes you appear more foolish.”
by anon, Lincoln
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 12:50PM
“Given the ability of the human mind to understand words in a given context it would appear you have interpreted his words in either a pedantic manner for the sake of it or you have taken his words literally and actually believe he is opposed to all forms of medication, and that he is so out of touch with reality that he does not know that caffiene is a drug. Either way it makes you appear more foolish.”
by Ben, Lincoln
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 10:31AM
“"I am university-educated ... and have always been strongly anti-drugs in whatever form. The only addiction I have is to tea."
Caffiene's a drug, you know. Seems these university educations aren't all they're cracked up to be ;-)”
by J, Lincoln
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 10:20AM
“I rest my case.”
by devil's advocate, Gainsborough
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 9:42AM
“The father of the child says he was not on the bus and that the child's mother who was, did not want to make a complaint. Looking at it from the outside I think that the bus driver should have a medal, not blame pinned on him. He did not swear was not of belligerent demeanour and got his passengers including the mother and child safely to SCUNTHORPE. And I would have thought that given the fact that the mum is the child's full time carer that she would have been able to deal with him in the event that he panicked. She had evidently not alerted the bus driver to that possibility.
The childs father does not appear to have given any thought to the welfare of the other pasengers or the road users with whom the driver could or might have collided due to an avertable distraction which was down to the childs mother to deal with..”
by J, Lincoln
Tuesday, September 07 2010, 9:06AM
“It is free speach Colin. I completely sympathise with Jonathan and have a great deal of respect for writing that letter. But now the but, most of the comments on this website are made by people stirring up trouble to pass the daily grind. I doubt very few people would, face to face, say anything like what they said about his son to Jonathan.”