“Hell, let's give them the vote. And the right to claim welfare. I for one would look forward to the Daily Mail headlines about dolphin teenage pregnancies and Flipper spending his days lolling about in a pool with the rest of his benefit-scrounging mates.”

“Imagine the Daily Mail's coverage of the Orca who killed a man who snuck into his pool at night. As a person they would presumably be tried for murder but were they just defending their home as anyone should apparently be entitled to do? No shooting in the back but was it reasonable force?”

“a "Declaration of Rights for Cetaceans"? So I'm guessing that the USA will need to take bad dolphins to Guacamole Bay to interrogate them on the suspected grounds of being a terror-fish?”

“This is getting ridiculous. One of my friends lost his job to a dolphin last week. Because of these equal rights laws it now seems as if there is a dolphin in every office.

Dolphins aren't as adept at using computers and certainly don't make very good call centre operatives, plus they're always complaining that the chairs are uncomfortable, so why should companies feel compelled to employ them in these roles?

When I start seeing whales appearing in the office environment I'll be writing a letter to my local MP. Assuming he hasn't already been replaced by a dolphin.”

“To be honest krabople, they are probably no more difficult to understand than most call centre operatives!”

“Lets have them running our shoals too.
Our little spratss would have a whale of a time”