Is Stu a fashion victim? Well he's not a dedicated follower
Statto: I'm still laughing at you.
Stu: Charming.
Statto: I'm still chuckling about that row you had with TV fashion guru Gok Wan and his cameraman the other week.
Stu: When they were filming in Lincoln and I got sent to take some pictures?
Statto: Yup! I've been telling everyone about it, it's hilarious!
Stu: Looking back, it was quite funny I suppose.
Statto: Funny? It's hysterical.
Stu: Well they started it! They were filming in a public place and I wasn't in the way, yet he still went all showbiz on me and flounced off into a coffee shop.
Statto: And then the cameraman started on you.
Stu: I know! He put my back up a bit.
Statto: A bit? You were having a full-scale row in the street!
Stu: Well, I, errr?
Statto: Go on, tell everyone the end bit of the "conversation" between you and the angry cameraman.
Stu: OK, OK, if it'll shut you up. Well, after much flouncing into coffee shops and shouting, it went something a bit like this
Cameraman – You're in the effing way
Me – How can I be in the effing way'? I'm stood 20 metres away and behind you!
Cameraman – Eff off.
Me – You eff off.
Cameraman – You're a t***.
Me – I think you'll find you're the one being a t***.
Pause
Me – So hang on, are you saying that he won't come out and start filming again because I'm stood down the road, taking a few stills?
Cameraman – Yes.
Me – Well I think you'll find that it's actually him who's the t*** then!
Cameraman – Eff off, you don't know anything about his life or what he has to put up with.
Me – And he doesn't know anything about my life or what I have to put up with.
Cameraman – You should have asked permission.
Me – For the umpteenth time, I don't need to ask permission, this is a public street, not a closed set!
Cameraman – Look, just eff off. He can't film while he's being watched and photographed.
Me – He's filming a programme about buying a new pair of trousers, he isn't remaking War and Peace!
Cameraman – (Silence)
Me – Well, at least you've all got a sense of perspective on it.
Stu: At which point I left.
Statto: Hilarious!
Stu: Pathetic more like! If you don't want people looking at you and photographing you while you're working, then maybe a job as a TV presenter isn't the best career for you!
Statto: True.
Stu: The best bit was, there was a woman stood next to me taking pictures on her phone, and they never said a word to her!
Statto: I can't imagine 80s fashion legend Jeff Banks kicking off like that can you?
Stu: I'd like to think not. I always thought that when Jeff Banks had his beard, he looked like Sir Alan Sugar. I used to always get them mixed up back in the 80s.
Statto: Well I think he'd definitely kick-off if you mistook him for Alan Sugar!
Stu: As would Alan Sugar! 'Hi Jeff, can you knock me up a suit? What do you mean 'you're fired'?....Oh, I see".
Statto: Bit of Jeff Banks triv' for you mate.
Stu: It doesn't matter what the subject is, you've always got some triv' on them haven't you?
Statto: Yup!
Stu: Go on then, I'm sure somebody reading this will be interested.
Statto: 80s fashion legend Jeff Banks used to be married to Sandie Shaw.
Stu: The bloke who used to read News At Ten?
Statto: Sandie Shaw, the singer! Not Sandy Gall!
Stu: Oh.
Statto: If it's any consolation I upset Danny La Rue once.
Stu: What did you say?
Statto: I asked him how he got started dressing up as a woman.
Stu: What did he say?
Statto: Dunno – he slammed the phone down on me.
Stu: That's a bit harsh.
Statto: I know! My next question was going to be 'Do you push your bits between your legs to make yourself look like a woman?'
Stu: Now that would have been worth a strop, not like Gok Wan. I tell you, I wasn't out of order.
Statto: Let it go mate. Like the cameraman said, you don't know what he has to put up with.
Stu: He gets to see women naked!
Statto: To be fair they're, how can I put this? They're all middle-aged and low on self-esteem.
Stu: That's my target market!
Statto: Still, you couldn't just ask a woman if you could see her naked. Gok can.
Stu: Yeah but he couldn't take a great picture of her.
Statto: Neither could you.
Stu: That's it, I'm going for a coffee!
Statto: Blimey, these minor celebs flounce off at anything
Comment on this story