I ain't going on no ad campaign sucker! (Well, maybe)

STU: I thought you were on a diet.

STATTO: I am.

STU: Well why are you eating a Snickers bar then? And don't use that "see-food" diet gag.

STATTO: Well according to Gillian McKeith, you can have as many nuts as you like.

STU: Not covered in chocolate and caramel!

STATTO: Well, I didn't know. I'm doing the You Are What You Eat diet.

STU You must stick away a lot of lard!

STATTO: Very funny, it's ok for you, you're never fat.

STU: That's cos I don't give in to my urges.

STATTO: (Cough)

STU: Well, not those urges anyway. What made you buy a Snickers? I heard a rumour you were going to "do a marathon" but I thought it was part of your fitness drive.

STATTO: Very good, I see what you did there. That gag would have worked 15 years ago! I saw the ad on TV starring Mr T and felt the urge to eat something nutty.

STU: You should have tried a dead squirrel, chocolate is lethal if you're trying to shed a few pounds.

STATTO: Well fair play to Mr T, he's found work again, even if it is on the ads. He was an icon when we were kids.

STU: Everyone loved the A-Team.

STATTO: And he was so cool. Mean and moody, a real tough guy in vest and dungarees.

STU: I know what you're trying to say but you're sounding a bit homo-erotic.

STATTO: It's hardly Ralph Bates and Oliver Reed in Women in Love! I was just saying he looked well hard.

STU: Thank you Larry Grayson! Anyway, I didn't know Ralph Bates was in Women In Love. I love that song he did.

STATTO: Eh?

STU: Streets of London.

STATTO: That was Ralph McTell, not Ralph Bates!

STU: Whoops.

STATTO: Oh forget it. He was also the original king of bling!

STU: Ralph McTell?

STATTO: Mr T!! All that gold chain-mail around his neck, it was a wonder he could stand up.

STU: Let alone put a shift in as a master mechanic! A man who could make an armoured vehicle out of a few screws and a blowtorch – within seconds.

STATTO: He should be advertising Kwik-Fit fitters!

STU: I pity the advertising fool who missed that trick!

STATTO: Hannibal Smith could now be advertising Panama cigars. He liked a quick smoke, as he reflected on "loving it" as a plan came together.

STU: Another of the show's catchphrases was "Hannibal's on the jazz".

STATTO: That presumably meant he was relaxing in the back of BA's van with some, err, reading matter.

STU: Mr T could have also advertised the Channel Tunnel. "I ain't getting on no plane!"

STATTO: "Don't fancy flying with BA this summer sucker? Then get in your car, fool!"

STU: Come on!

STATTO: I wonder what Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock could advertise? Or The Faceman?

STU: Not everyone is cut out for a life in the adverts mate. Mind you, Ray Parker Jnr, looks the business on that 118 118 advert.

STATTO: Do you fancy a RPJ fact?

STU: As if there's a choice!

STATTO: In 1995 Parker was accused of plagiarising the melody from Huey Lewis and the News song "I Want a New Drug" for his theme to Ghostbusters, released only six months after Lewis' hit reached number 6 in the US Billboard Hot 100. This ended with Lewis suing Parker, and the pair settled out of court.

STU: He should have ignored Lewis and gone on the run with the A-Team.

STATTO: And the show could have opened with: "Ten years ago a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit".

STU: "These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. But they were found by Ray Parker Jnr, who was fleeing Huey Lewis and the News at the time".

STATTO: "Today, still wanted by the government"

STU: "And Huey Lewis"

STATTO: "They all survive as soldiers of fortune and actors in adverts. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team and Ray Parker Jnr..."

STU: Not quite the same though is it?

STATTO: Maybe you're right.

STU: I can't believe how young Ray Parker Jnr looks in those ads though.

STATTO: He's 55 mate!

STU: Are you his stalker?

STATTO: Eh?

STU: I mean seriously, how many people could just blurt-out how old Ray Parker Jnr was?

STATTO: Errrr?

STU: It's not normal!

STATTO: Well, I.

STU: Don't stand there stuffing your face with a Snickers, trying to look all innocent! You know your trouble don't you?

STATTO: What?

STU: You're nuts!

STATTO: Alright, don't get your Snickers in a twist!